Doing My BrEaST
Growing up in the John Hughes era of the teen romcoms, I knew at a young age the power of breasts. I would think about it constantly….when will I develop? Will I look like a Playboy girl that thrives in a white t-shirt at the car wash?? Will I be a Judy Blume character watching everyone around me grow while I sit in my room praying for more? One day, around the time I was 10 years old, I put socks in my shirt, as many little girls do to create what I thought looked like very natural breasts. Needless to say, they did not stay symmetrical or as discreet as I was going for. We were at the shoe store when my mom burst out laughing as one of my perfect ‘Hooters’ rolled out and onto the floor.
Whoever was listening to my childhood wishes worked and with my genetics, delivered and then kept delivering. By the time I was 14, I was sized out of buying bathing suits from Bloomingdale’s. My bras looked like I raided the Golden Girls boudoir….not Blanche’s! They were nude, big, full of wires, thick straps and held promises to ‘minimize’. Think about that messaging….now you have them, but, you must hide them. You are too much woman for others to deal with. I could never wear a tank top or a cute little strapless dress without a major ordeal. Shopping was hard and the goal of making sure my boobs looked good without too much attention was always lingering.
In 1993, Soleil Moon Frey, went public about her breast reduction and how it changed her life. She was brave and willing to talk about the shame she felt and how she took back the power by being the size she wanted that suited her petite frame. I always remembered reading about her and as my cup runneth over, I wanted in. I figured if I just got a reduction, everything would be proportionate. I faced one small problem….my mom said, ‘NO’! She was concerned that my body would continue to change and if one day I wanted to have kids, I may want to breast feed and what if I couldn’t because of surgery? As we know, there are all kinds of risks with various surgeries and at 18 I couldn’t really understand her reasons and just felt like it was another roadblock.
At 5’2” my weight would fluctuate throughout my life. I got used to people looking me up and down and making conclusions or talking about my body. I didn’t get upset when people joked about my breasts and their size. Halloween was always my holiday and I learned to be happy most of the time. I still believed that maybe if I was skinnier, my breasts would be smaller and I would have the ‘reduction’ I wanted. But, even at my lowest weight, which was 15 pounds below the recommended weight for my height, I was still at a specialty bra store in an ‘E’ cup. Thankfully, bras got prettier through the years for a larger cup and a small band, but, seeking them out remained difficult and expensive. Once I was pregnant, it was still all about my breasts. People I hadn’t seen in years felt comfortable asking me about my breast feeding plan.
In my late 30’s I decided the time had come. My husband and I were complete with our two girls and he supported any decision I wanted to make, but, always made and continues to make me feel beautiful regardless of any phase I am going through or complaining about. He remains along for the ride and loving. The increase and decrease in cup sizes along with the weight gain and loss of two pregnancies just put more emphasis on my breasts for me. I was now grateful and in awe of what my body could do, but, I still wanted to be proportionate…and up.
When I started my search for a surgeon, I was overwhelmed. I had friends that had recommendations and was living in the era of TV shows glamorizing extreme makeovers and celebrity surgeons taking center stage. In Los Angeles, I had the pick of the best but even then, I was drowning in information overdrive. It was through this process I started to take notice of what mattered to me. I went to MANY consultations. I left one doctor’s office and asked for my consultation fee back after they kept me waiting for 45 minutes with zero communication….I was too nervous with zero patience to sit in a waiting room for an optional surgery and no client service. In the process, I was also happy to meet amazing doctors who were empathetic and talented. Ultimately, for me, it just clicked. I knew it when we met and as the consultation went on, I was only more convinced this was my person.
My surgery was a major life decision for me. I was saying goodbye to what I had been given and making a choice for what I believed to be best for me. It was an easy choice and I was ready to say goodbye to back pain and sore shoulders. My surgeon was kind, light hearted and made me feel comfortable. He gave me the utmost confidence that all would be okay. I have not regretted this choice and remain happy with the results of my breast reduction. It changed my life and allowed me to button a shirt without a tank top underneath. I will forever remain appreciative to my surgeon, his office and the nurses who helped me along the way.
It took a lot of time, patience and research to find the right doctor. There are SO many sources and so much information to comb through. I read as much as I could, but, I wish I had that confidante on speed dial. As we build our company, I think back to how I felt and what I would have wanted. What resources did I lack and what would have made it easier? We will seek to be that guide, resource and trusted advisor for our clients every day. It is important, it is personal and whatever we can do to make it easier will be my joy at the end of each person’s journey.
xoxo - Alana